Some people do a great job at this, sometimes not necessarily by choice. If you live alone, alone time is probably quite regular for you, as you have to make a conscious effort to have a social life. For those with roommates who are close friends or significant others, alone time is harder to come by, but it can still be achieved naturally with conflicting schedules. The hardest person to separate from, however, even for as little as 30 minutes - some of you no doubt have experienced this - is a travel companion.
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| Me with some of my past travel companions |
It is the trusty travel companion who can be there to share in the joys of new experiences, who can ward off loneliness brought on by language barriers and big cities and tiny towns and shyness, and it is the trusty travel companion who can support you throughout your journey, helping you to reflect on lessons learned. But, sooner or later, as I have experienced on every trip of significant length, and with a variety of travel companions from friends to family to lovers, alone time is absolutely necessary!
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| Me and my current travel companion, my husband Eyal |
Alone time refreshes the senses, provides new perspective, allows us to switch our minds into a new gear, to turn our focus inward and put all our thoughts in order. For some of us, being alone is our time to switch off, to daydream, to answer to nobody except ourselves. This time can be spent walking, writing in a journal, working on a hobby, anything that helps you to feel good - but not sleeping!
I have to admit, I myself am not the best at getting in my much needed alone time. Since my husband and I began travelling together seven months ago, our alone time has been circumstantial and minimal. A few weeks ago, my husband was asked to drive with our work exchange host to Spain to buy some plants (we were in Portugal). I did some work in the morning and had a few hours to myself in the early afternoon, before they returned from Spain. As I munched on some lunch, I thought about what I wanted to do next. Wow, what a feeling! It sounds trivial, but I hadn't felt that in months, and boy, did it feel good. Thinking about what I wanted to do, with nobody else to consider. I imagine that mothers with small children know what I'm talking about! So, in the end, I took a nice hot shower, sat in a lawnchair in the sun, and invited one of the 15 kitties living with us into my lap for some cuddles. Then I picked up a pen and notebook and wrote my first blog entry. I had been meaning to start a blog but hadn't had the inspiration until that very moment.
By the time my husband returned, I felt rejuvenated, calm, and productive, and I promised to give him the same gift of alone time. It hasn't been easy, admittedly, to start a new routine. We're still figuring out how often we need time apart, and we each don't want to hurt the other or send confusing signals by suggesting time apart. But the topic is on the table, and we're working on it!
Do you find it easy or difficult to get time alone? What do you do to get the most out of your alone time? Please share in the comments :)
Awh I love your Blog post!! I need sooooo much alone time yet never feel lonely ever - thanks to my dog. I don't think I would be travelling along for so long if I didn't have her by my side. The "not sleep" is a good one - yet when I have been around people, and I just have been around people almost 24/7 for one week, when I get an hour alone I sleep. And Dream. Or take Calinka on a walk. Sit down somewhere in nature and just watch the flowers and the sky. Do nothing. I find, when I haven't had my alone time, I need even more alone time to catch up for my alone time. You know what I mean? Like I need to sleep, then sort out my things, then maybe take a shower and so on until finally I am ready to do nothing and just be. And that is the most important alone time fo rme, the one, where I can just be.
ReplyDeleteIt's really cool that you have a travel companion who doesn't really interfere with your alone time, but makes sure that you never feel lonely! When I wrote this post I didn't consider an animal travel companion, I'd like to try it someday. A dog kind of makes you feel like you always have a purpose as well, because you have to take care of her. Give Calinka a kiss for me!
DeleteI'm a person who needs a lot of alone time, and I never thought about this before I read this, but I realize that almost all of my "hobbies" throughout my life have involved activities that I do alone! When I had a house I spent a lot of time in the garden just working alone or working at the same time as Alex but in different parts of the yard. With my ceramics I may be in a room with other people, but essentially I'm doing my own thing. Here in Nicaragua I started a drawing class, and a friend who's taking it with me commented that what she enjoys most is that for the 2 hours she's drawing she doesn't think of anything else, and it's almost like meditation. I feel the same way. Do you think it's possible to have "alone" time when you're surrounded by other people?
ReplyDeleteYes, I do think it's possible to have alone time when surrounded by other people, when each person is working on something separate and there isn't much conversation happening. But, I've tried meditating in small groups and at the end I don't feel like I got my needed alone time, I was too distracted by the energy of the other people to let my social guard down completely. It's all about your own feelings - it sounds like you feel that you can get alone time when working near other people, so I'm glad you found something that works for you!
DeleteI need my alone time :) !!! i often wonder am i an introvert or an extrovert at certain moments in life, and then i realize it has more to do with just wanting in a natural sense some time to myself, and that doesn't label me as one or the other. i think it can be really hard for someone programmed to want to see other people around them happy - you kind of get lost for a bit. But yes, i think alone time makes my life and my relationships better. Miss you and love you Jasmine and i love the dance post too.
ReplyDeleteThanks Ron, I never thought about judging oneself as an introvert for wanting alone time, but I can understand how that would happen. I'm not sure whether I like the idea of analyzing one's character, it seems like it can lead to negative self judgments, or feeling that you can't do something because it's not within the confines of your character type. I'm glad that you came to the conclusion that wanting alone time is just natural and doesn't label you as an introvert, and also glad to hear that it helps your life and your relationships! I miss you too, hope to see you soon x
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